This poem is written out of sadness, sickness, lost hope and the fear to out failures of communitys, which are so essential to save lifes. This poem isn’t written in one of my languages because they are to close to my heart, so i jused my little english skills to raise my voice. this poem is written in Berlin by a afro Latinix, who can’t talk and jusge everyone everywhere who talks about her connections, impressions and feelings.
This poem is between all those things.
This poem is called:

A Latinix Thing

Those last days where filled up with

Voices that turned they own volume far to loud

and voices

that are noises about justice

regulary

but now are

the silent

inside of me

these last days

my interdependent heart

became broken

my queerness was erased

my migration was unheard

my blackness offered only a destroyed hope

for

community that cares.

Those last days my so-often unheard

my so-often lonely

my so-often unknown queer identiy

wasn’t seen

it was about every other group on earth

it was about every other oppression, hope and boundery

it was not

about us

we have names.

We have storys

we are

we are so divers it became hard to build up bounderies

our fights are so different from each other

so different its hard to find even words

we are those of double-, trible-, and so on diaspora

we are those who are too white

for beeing mourned by Black communitys in Germany

we speak only colonialized languages

so u don’t se us as „that“ black

forgetting our history

forgetting why

our skin is sometimes lighter

it’s a history of abuse

it’s a history of destroying every part of our souls they could get

and replace it with spain, french…

and we where to black to forget

our ancestors

we turned colonialized languages into our own

we challenging colonialized pictures

in our resitence

but we stay away

from your hearts

and i see your struggles to compansate this

but you know, siblings from the continent

my heart knows why you are writing PoC

instead of Latinix

why you writing

Queers of Color instead of

what we call ourself

and i hear the loud voices of white queers

running arround telling every magazine its about

your bodys

but its not

its about you desire

but its not

ir about your struggles and history

that have been neccesary because of your ancestors

that have been challenged by my ancestors

and u call us gays

and u call us family

and u cry in every camera u can get

and u are on the covers

of every magazine

but i understand u

in fear and sadness we stay in old behaviours

and as the old behaviours of Latinix is to try to handle all the emotions and fears inside of our familys

your behaviour is to steel every second of attention and ressouce

because your heart was heeling faster

because after you start again fearing the muslim men

you realized you arent

the real target

but you know how to use this

to fight

and you can use us

again

it is a latinix thing

we builded a word that isnt splitttable to reduce us on just queerness

or just blackness

or just spanish

a word that connect our soulparts

a word that describe the struggles of my siblings

of my family

over there

its not a queer safer space because of cis and hetero hate

its not a migrant safer space against deportation and racist violence

these are spaces

that are both and more and over that

where we share the bounderies and combinations of struggles

the empty pants because when u dont have papers

theres no reason to carry an empty purse arround

that fit perfectly on our genderqueer bodys

where we celebrate our diversitys

our souls

languages and dances

too white to be african enough for your tears

too machismo to be seen as a consequence of white colonial manipulations

too black to fullfill your now-a-days empty queer that is just for white cis men

too migrant to lift our voices that are switching between realitys because they all build our reality

just too much and too concrete

too much a fight that can only be seen in the US context of migration politics against states that are part of the US but just for good not for nation

its

a latinix thing

and this is how u silenced us

in white spaces that are allready oerwelmed by the idea of queers of color

in black german spaces that are allready overwelmed by the idea of beeing Black German and proud of their mothers land herritage

In of Color groups that are oerwelmed by the antimuslim agenda the eraser of queer muslims lifes and storys and hearts

in my Community of queers of color all to hurted by the news „shots on a club of color“ to hear and feel the later news and names, that are written also in my passport

its a oppression thing

how can i raise my voice if we are al so hurted destroyed and killed?

how can i adress the missing links between racism and anti-queerness that is written in the Latinix history by implementing the ideas of machismo into our hearts?

how can i adress that my family stays silent?

some because they are hurt as Latinos and latinas

some because they are confused by they colonialized ideas of gender but are overwelmed by my tears

some because they friends hope and love died in this night

some because they stopped writing

they feeling and opinions down

because we are so less

why even care about Latinix?

we are a group in a group in a group in a –

so why even care when they are so many other fights?

why should we share when our history is the story of

beeing splitted from the continent we called home

beeing splitted from our countrys we builded up just so the white men could come to drain us

beeing splitted from our communitys because we are not just queer, not just Latins

we are Latinix

why

should we still hope to be heard

if its just

a latinix thing